Memory is tricky. Neural pathways and other structures of the brain become activated during emotionally-charged experiences especially if a person’s life is in danger. We remember those events more clearly than others to survive going forward. Sometimes, though, the brain puts aside memories too difficult to bear at least for a time.
When my mother began experiencing memory changes, my father would often repeat the words, “She’s not the woman I married.” At the time, I heard them as a slight against my mother, often shutting down the conversation by replying, “Well, neither are you, Dad.” But during one visit I recall being in the garage alone with my father when he said the same words, and instead of shutting him down, I said, “It must be hard.” With that response, I opened a window onto a world I would never have seen had I refused to look through it. How he felt his wife drifting away one memory at a time; how he lost his companion, his confidant, and how he mourned her bit by bit each day. That conversation sparked the story, Broken Glass, which I tried writing and revising for nearly four years. I always knew the point of view would be from the grandson; he was the voice I heard telling me the story of a man he loved and admired. The first critique of the story happened at Doe Branch Ink where it was suggested I tell his story as an adult reflecting back. I resisted. In the end, I took the advice and revised it. Still, the new version also was problematic — I was told straight out that Jewish families would not keep the secrets which Grandpa Max kept. Again, I resisted. But then, when I tilted the advice and heard it differently, I figured out what happened and revised the story once again. The truth of the final version included in “A Blue Moon & Other Murmurs of the Heart” was validated when I went to a reading by Peter Stein of his recent memoir, “A Boy's Journey: From Nazi-Occupied Prague to Freedom in America.” My advice to other writers? Listen to what your readers find off-center about the story you’ve written but keep steadfast to the voice of your protagonist who knows the story you’re trying to tell.
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